Our first challenge as husband and wife did not start recently; something had already surfaced during the first few months of our marriage back in 2017. It seemed resolved at the time. COVID was also a huge challenge for our family. Back then, my job as a consultant was still stable, while my husband’s restaurant business was not. That was the first time I understood why, if a marriage is based only on mutual benefits, it is no wonder many couples decide to separate or divorce. Thankfully, we were already part of a Catholic community, and with God’s help we were able to navigate that difficult period. We found God’s miracle through daily virtual Mass from a parish in Melbourne. We were still in Indonesia, but the time difference worked perfectly for us, allowing us to attend Mass every early morning. That was when our minds opened to the truth that as husband and wife we are already one – one’s weakness is our weakness – and if we focus only on the weakness, it is like trying to see with one blinded eye.
In 2022 our family moved to Australia for a job opportunity with our two little children. Unexpectedly, a new series of challenges came. Again, we were in a Catholic community, and during a difficult moment a friend introduced us to the 54‑day Rosary Novena. It eventually became our daily couple prayer and remains so until today.
With this firm Catholic faith and daily prayer, we believed our journey as husband and wife was going well. We joined the Marriage Encounter weekend in mid March simply because my parents had done it during my school years, and my sister and her husband joined last year and recommended it. We were just curious.
We did not expect that during the weekend we would return to the issues we first faced in the early months of our marriage nine years ago. Tension surfaced again. The feeling of lack of trust from back then rose to the surface like something emerging from the bottom of the ocean. We tried to discuss it but felt stuck. On the second morning, one of the facilitators joined our table during coffee, and we asked for a little advice. His question was, “Have you ever thought about why you had that feeling?” We reflected deeply, and unexpectedly a new thought came – another layer of possible root causes we had never imagined.
We were able to continue the discussion, and the bridging process has been helping us. I finally feel that this issue has been brought to light to be truly resolved, not just repressed and buried. While we believe this is again a fruit of our daily prayers, we are very thankful to the Marriage Encounter team for being part of God’s helping hand in our relationship as husband and wife and in our family.
It has now been almost three weeks since the weekend, and the deeper dialogue continues. The 100‑day challenge has been very helpful, as we share positivity in our love letters while slowly opening and addressing this deep issue we never knew existed. For me and my husband, the Marriage Encounter weekend was God’s way of helping us let go of the old wineskin and receive a new one. We pray that the Holy Spirit continues His work through the Marriage Encounter community and all couples around the world – because He has done so for my parents’ family, my sister’s family, my own family, and hopefully one day for my children’s families and the generations to come.
Matthew 9:17 “Nor is new wine put into old wineskins; otherwise the wineskins burst, the wine spills, and the wineskins are ruined. But new wine is put into fresh wineskins, so both are preserved.”
(LGA)
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